I can’t believe it. I’m done. And yet, this day which I’ve been looking forward to for five years, it now seems odd. There’s a fear in me which is trying to hold me back. But in the tackling of this fear, I have realized many things. I have realized that life is neither in the future nor in the past. Life, I have realized, is the name of this moment. The feeling of this moment is the feeling of life. Cherish this moment, because as I said in my Final Project for 20th Century Novel, “who knows if the time which is here right now will be here tomorrow.”
When I received my first essay, back in the 20th century novel class, I still remember the shock on my face. As I flipped glanced over my essay, franticly looking for my grade, I saw all the purple marks all over the paper. I reached the end. Whoa. It was a C. B.S. was not an option in this class. I was scared. I was gonna drop the class. Then it hit me. Wait a second, this is what I need. I don’t need three misspelled words circled on my four page essay and given a B+. I need this detail, I need these comments. So I started revising.
English or writing had never been my strong points. But with the amounts of response papers, proposals, blogs, and comments, I have seen an incredible growth in myself as a writer. There’s a reason that I choose Mr. Mitchell’s classes as my English classes for four semesters in a row (just scroll down through this site, I’ve been using the same blog title for 2 years) and that’s because there is an atmosphere in the class that I enjoy. And all of this has helped shape me as a better writer as well. I always saw writing essays and blogs as a big project and was always unsure of what to write on. But then a pattern started emerging. I realized that I can use the blogs to talk about prompts in class, or things that were brought up that I couldn’t think of anything to say on then, but can say now. And all my response papers have also been based on that concept. The thesis of each of my response papers is an idea I got while reading other people’s blogs, or following on what somebody mentioned in class. There’s an irony in that last sentence which is that none of papers (or blogs) contain a thesis statement. I discovered a writing style that I really like: a collection ideas, beautifully intertwined together. Enough on writing, time for some fun.
My favorite moments, by far, were when I was arguing against the class (yes, the WHOLE class). Oh yes, this happened on multiple occasions, but those are few of the best times that I’ve had at Uni. I have always tried to bring a different perspective, a different viewpoint to discuss on. And I often play devil’s advocate because that’s fun and it also makes the discussion fun.
- The ending of Memory of Running is unnecessarily cheezy and ruins the novel.
- As stupid as it sounds, cutting half of Ragtime makes total sense. I mean think about it, Ragtime the movie, focuses on the Coalhouse Walker aspect of the plot and briefs over the first of the novel in like 5 minutes, even less.
- Calling a protagonist who robs banks a hero instead of an “anti-hero” makes sense because everyone has their own viewpoints. In the minds of the rich, Robin Hood is the bad guy and to the poor, he is a god.
It was frustrating, at times, because my points are spot on, yet I don’t have the words to back them up. This happens to me so much. I’m on the right side of an argument, I just don’t have things to support my arguments. When I sleep over it, all of a sudden, POOF, I have these fantastic ideas, and it depresses me that I didn’t get these ideas at the right time. But such is life.
I will not bore you with mellow-drama, but really, these classes have been a great learning experience for me. I hope you enjoyed this class, and will continue to take classes like these. This was a hidden gem, an experience I had no idea I was going to have, but I am glad I explored this new path. It has made me into a new person, it has made me think differently, with an open mind. I would like to thank all my classmates who have helped shape discussions and various moods during the classes, but most of all, I would like to thank Mr. Mitchell for allowing this growth in me as a writer, as a reader, as a critique, and as a person. Thank you.
This isn't the kind of run-of-the-mill blog post that one comments on, so I'm not sure where to start. Given the transformational experience of Mr. Mitchell's courses, I wonder what would happen if students had him earlier, as freshmen or something.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, for sure. Subbie year feels kind of pushed, because it's the most stressful year at Uni. I agree with you that Freshmen year would be a great year to have him as an English teacher. Then again, one of the reasons that discussions work so much in the class is because we are all slightly older and (some (aka most) of us) have more mature identities.
DeleteEnglish revisions are a lot like adolescence. They involve first attempts that can be followed with moderate success (a sign to continue forward in the same direction) or oftentimes disappointing failure, to which we learn from our mistakes and try again. It can be a lengthy procedure, developing and redeveloping each page, each sentence, each phrase, down to the punctuation mark. But at the end of the process, what you have is a refined final product, or in your case, a refined person. And that's definitely something you should be proud of!
ReplyDeleteProps to you shaleen for sharing your growth story on your blog! I also agree about the whole time thing. It seems crazy that we have spent five years at Uni and now it's over. I think I've been living in the present, but also fretting a lot about the future. My biggest regret is that I didn't appreciate my time in high school while I had it.
ReplyDeleteShaleen, it has been a pleasure to read and respond to your writing these two years, and a ton of fun having you in class. Your enthusiasm and good humor have been valuable assets to some very memorable classes.
ReplyDeleteYou were NOT alone in your dislike of the ending of _Memory of Running_, however. Most of the class was on your side on that one, I'm afraid.